


A Lifetime With You

by nestine



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Cliche, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Modern Day Prince, but Jeno misses Jaemin so much, i dont even know what I'm writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 09:27:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20580233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nestine/pseuds/nestine
Summary: "Please tell Prince Jeno that I’ll be back as soon as I can and he won’t even notice I’m gone."And then there’s the thing with Jeno's heart again. The whoosh, whoop, kind of thing. And his mind is confusing every fiber of his body.The thing is, there’s something wrong about Jaemin’s message because it’s only been half a day and Jeno can already feel it in his bones, in his entire system the impact of Jaemin not being close to him, he feels a sense of urgency and the desire to see Jaemin as soon as possible. He feels empty like his world is incomplete. But why? It’s weird.And his heart feels heavy like all the invisible heartstrings are being pulled one by one but it hurts because only now that he feels the weight of Jaemin’s presence - now that he’s nowhere to be found.“I won’t even notice that you’re gone, huh?”





	A Lifetime With You

**Author's Note:**

> This has not been planned to be this long. I honestly think I got too carried away with this. I only wanted a short Prince Jeno and commoner Na Jaemin but it spiraled to a 16k word fic. (⌣̩̩́_⌣̩̩̀)
> 
> But again, I hope you will like reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this. ( ˘˘з)♬♪
> 
> Kudos and comments are much appreciated, they're writer's spark of joy too! 
> 
> Also, although Jaemin's birthday has ended, this is part of the fics I wrote for him, now it's 2/3! 
> 
> (And this is unbeta-ed so I am apologizing for any grammatical mistakes in advance and because English is not my first language.)

**The date is August 22 and Jaemin is leaving the palace in two days**.

👑Prince Jeno 👑

**Jeno is stupid.**

_What’s new?_

Really, what’s new? Even Jeno himself is fully aware of the underlying truth that he’s one of the stupidest human beings ever born in the entirety of the universe. And so no matter how many times Donghyuck and Renjun have repeatedly claimed that Jeno’s stupidity is on a different level of idiocy, and no matter how much Donghyuck repeatedly bombards Jeno with the same line, “I can’t believe you’re this stupid, asshole,” for the past seventy-four hours _(this is not an exaggeration)_, Jeno doesn’t have the ability to be mad at his friend, not when Donghyuck has only been muttering the truth. The number of hours is a lie and that’s a fact because if Jeno is to count the **actual **total number of hours Donghyuck has begrudgingly tackled the topic of Jeno being the stupidest person in the galaxy then perhaps it might actually be around 227 hours. **(Or more?)**

“Lee Jeno! How can you be this stupid?” Donghyuck grits, his right arm curved into a ball, ready to throw some punches. Jeno fears for himself and for Donghyuck too.

“I know you’re probably tired of hearing this over and over and over again for the past days, but you’re the biggest idiot I know!” Donghyuck adds, almost screaming. “How can I stress this enough?”

"Renjun doesn't even want to give you any advice anymore or even look at you as he said, and I quote, _his stupidity might be contagious and I don't want to be an idiot!_"

There’s a noticeable crack in his voice, probably because he tries to tune down the volume of his voice as to not be heard by anyone. Because if anyone heard what he just uttered, Donghyuck might face severe consequences, and the lightest punishment might be a trial by combat if he so wishes, that is if he’s going to be given a choice too. Because it’s either he fights for his life, or he chooses to be beheaded, buried alive, or killed in a fire.

That isn’t an exaggeration too.

Because if anyone hears Donghyuck calling Jeno stupid, asshole, idiot, or any other vulgar insults, the guards will not hesitate to drag Donghyuck down in the cell and kill him afterward, even if Donghyuck has been serving the palace his entire life, or even if it’s the 21stcentury. Because he shouldn’t be uttering such words to a member of the palace, let alone the crowned prince, even if he’s one of the closest friends of the royal.

Yes, you’re right, Jeno is the crowned prince.

And even though they’re living in the modern era, the 21stcentury, still, some rules are set, guidelines to be followed, no one is allowed to call the Prince an idiot. But his friends do it, though secretly, but a lot of times. Because Jeno is really an idiot.

“What am I supposed to do now?” Jeno utters, softly, the realization is dawning on him, the dreadful awareness that Jaemin won’t be beside him in the future. He feels his heart ripping out of his chest, literally and figuratively. To be honest, he has no clue what to do next. He doesn’t want to lose Jaemin but he knows he will, one way or another.

Donghyuck lets out a disgruntled groan, “You’re really asking me this?”

**August 2: **

** _Jaemin suddenly disappears_ **

“Did anyone see Jaemin?”

Jeno announces in the courtyard. Several royal palace guards are doing their usual rounds and some of the palace helpers are getting ready to prepare for the annual ball that’s happening in two weeks. Although all of them acknowledge the presence of the prince, none of them knows the answer to Jeno’s question.

So Jeno hurriedly excuses himself and goes back to his quest which started the moment he woke up. Jeno roused up to a notification from the Royal Secretary on his cellphone that the new episodes of Haikyuu! have been sent to his email address. _(Yes, Jeno got the episodes first a month early before the official release, perks of being part of the royal family)_And without wasting any second, he speedily scrambled to his feet and ran to the other side of the palace, hoping he could watch the new season with Jaemin.

But when he arrived at Jaemin’s room, the Royal quarter for the palace’s scholars, the latter was not there. Jeno guessed his friend probably started his daily tasks so Jeno didn’t see it as a big deal, not until it was lunchtime and he has not seen Jaemin anywhere nor even heard his voice.

His initial instinct was to ask Jisung, Jaemin’s younger brother, but the kid just started high school and that means he is under Professor Soh and the young instructor isn’t a fan of being interrupted when he’s teaching a class, even by a member of the Royal family. Jeno learned it from experience.

Jeno tried to call Jaemin’s phone but all his attempts end up in voicemail so he decided to search the whole palace with the hope of finding Jaemin as soon as possible.

The thing is, Jaemin has been missing since this morning and Jeno has been searching the whole palace since then.

He even thought of asking his parents, the King and Queen, if they sent Jaemin somewhere but that seems unlikely given that they will probably consult Jeno first before making that big of a decision (this is from experience too) so he didn’t bother asking them. He will though if he won’t be able to find Jaemin anytime soon.

Not being able to see Jaemin’s face for quite a long time is unusual. To say that it’s bothering Jeno is an understatement. Because not seeing Jaemin first thing in the morning is weird, not hearing Jaemin’s voice for more than 5 hours is odd, and not knowing where Jaemin puts Jeno on the edge. Like something crucial has suddenly gone missing, and Jeno can’t pinpoint what it is. He blames it on his excitement to watch Haikyuu!! and that he won’t be able to watch the new episodes unless Jaemin joins him. _Yes, that’s probably it._

But it’s really out of the ordinary for Jaemin to be missing in action especially weeks before the annual ball. He is usually the one to be all over the place, assisting the chefs, bakers, lending a hand to the helpers, making sure everything is spotless planning all the creative shots he’ll take, and all other creatives ideas he formulates. And for Jeno to not see Jaemin roaming around the palace is disturbingly alarming.

_Weird. _

“I heard you’ve been turning the palace upside down looking for Jaemin.”

Jeno is just on his way to the garden, the only place he hasn’t checked yet when he pauses when he heard his friend’s voice. And at the mention of Jaemin’s name, he listens intently to what Renjun, one of his closest friends too who is currently in training to be one of the Royal Palace’s instructors, has to say next. He doesn’t respond though because it is clear Renjun knows something.

“I hate to break it to you, my prince, but Jaemin is not in the palace.”

_What? Jaemin is not in the palace? H-how? Why? What?_

He’s going to try to argue and to demand an explanation but before Jeno can put out words in the open, Renjun fills him with more absurd details.

“I only got a note,” Renjun says while he fishes out a yellow colored paper from his jeans’ back pocket.

“A note?” Jeno replies after a heartbeat of processing what Renjun has informed him but it makes Jeno more confused_. Why would Jaemin leave the palace not inform Jeno? _And why would he leave a note for Renjun and not for him? _Jeno feels deeply prickly._

“If you’re thinking why Jaemin left me a note and didn’t leave you one, well because he didn’t have time.” Renjun shrugs feigning indifference but the leer he flashes says otherwise. “And because it’s obvious, Jaemin loves me more. ” He says as an added leg-puller and Jeno is getting annoyed by each passing minute.

“I wasn’t thinking that,” Jeno lies trying not to give in into Renjun’s constant teasing. “Jaemin loves us equally.” He attempts to argue but he doesn’t know why feels the need to explain, to put it in the open like he’s convincing himself that it’s the truth. Because why wouldn’t it be the truth? _Jaemin doesn’t love Renjun more than him, right?_

“Liar! Your judging eyes and that ugly pout gave you away.” Renjun tells him but Jeno pays him no attention, “Anyway, the note says, his parents called him and there was something urgent he needs to do so he’s leaving Jisung under my care until it’s resolved. See, he trusts me to take of his precious baby brother. That tells that he trusts me more than you. He loves me more.” Renjun insists.

Jeno rolls his eyes in response, but his mind quickly thinks of various scenarios, hoping it isn’t a big deal nor an emergency. But if it’s an emergency then Jaemin shouldn’t only have left a note so maybe it’s a family thing. The best person to ask is Jisung and luckily, in 30 minutes, the royal classes will be done; Jeno needs to meet Jisung in an instant without paying Renjun any more attention. But before he can sprint towards the royal classroom, Renjun has something else to add.

“Also,” Renjun says with a hint of malice in his tone, but with a straight face “Jaemin confessed.” He shrugs and lets out a small smile. A smile that makes Jeno uncomfortable for some reason.

And the look on Jeno’s face says he could start a war anytime, anywhere.

So Renjun feels like it’s a victory. He smiles widely and then teasingly, building up the mood, trying his best to squeeze out the prince’s patience. _Ah, Renjun can do this all day_.

“He says on the note,” Renjun squints his eyes, pretending to look for the message in the piece of paper he’s holding, and with all the confidence he has, his eyes now piercing into Jeno’s, Renjun reveals, _“Renjun, I am in love you, I love you more than a friend,” _he says slowly, with overflowing emotions, _“let’s get married when I’m back._”

For a second, Jeno’s world pauses, _literally, _and he doesn’t know why. As if he’s transported into a different dimension when everything turns into black and white, and his lungs forgot to function, his heart momentarily stops beating - he is at haze.

He is only snapped back to reality when he hears Renjun laughing maniacally.

“I’m kidding. Oh my god!” Renjun admits while clutching his stomach, “the look on your face is priceless!”

Renjun continues to laugh, wiping the stray tears in his eyes. “You’re whipped! What the hell, Lee Jeno! I should’ve recorded everything!”

Jeno is visibly upset, he was ready to start a war, _literally again_, or whatever he needs to do to stop the wedding because there shouldn't be a wedding, why would there be a wedding? But he really doesn’t know why. Why did he not want Jaemin and Renjun getting married? Or why is he upset when Renjun tells him Jaemin confessed? Why is he even bothered that Renjun received a note and he doesn't get any? Everything is confusing but he blames it all on Renjun.

“That’s not a great joke!” He admits after a while in deep thought, but his voice is breaking.

Renjun stops laughing and looks at Jeno probingly but there’s something with his brows and how he wiggles them that irritates Jeno.

“Why? Because you don’t want Jaemin to marry me because you want him to marry you instead?” Renjun says out of the blue and Jeno chokes on his saliva.

Jeno pauses, his heart pauses, his mind short circuits, and his world changes. _What?_

And after a beat, he replies, unsure, “What? Of course not?”

Renjun only gives him a pat on the back, and a regretful smile, and tells him, “Okay, Prince, keep lying to yourself. And before you say anything else, or have me beheaded, here keep the note. There’s a little message for you in there.” Renjun offers a kind smile and leaves Jeno in trance.

_It’s definitely weird._

But Jeno needs to shake away the conflicting ideas clouding his head and read what Jaemin left him. There must be something there that says when will Jaemin be back. He needs to know because Jeno thinks that what’s the point of having the new season of Haikyuu! if Jaemin isn’t there to watch everything with him.

As Jeno carefully holds on to the paper and starts reading, he even double-checks if there’s something about Jaemin confessing to Renjun which there was none, he re-read thrice so he’s sure. And when he reaches the bottom part of the note, he finds the message that’s for him.

** **

** _Please tell Prince Jeno that I’ll be back as soon as I can and he won’t even notice I’m gone._ **

And then there’s the thing with his heart again. The _whoosh, whoop, _kind of thing. And his mind is confusing every fiber of his body.

The thing is, there’s something wrong about Jaemin’s message because it’s only been half a day and Jeno can already feel it in his bones, in his entire system the impact of Jaemin not being close to him, he feels a sense of urgency and the desire to see Jaemin as soon as possible. He feels empty like his world is incomplete. But why? _It’s weird._

And his heart feels a little bit wary like all the invisible heartstrings are being pulled one by one but it hurts because only now that he feels the weight of Jaemin’s presence - now that he’s nowhere to be found.

“I won’t even notice that you’re gone, huh?”

**August 7**

“Still no news as to when he’ll be back?” Donghyuck slumps into the bean bag, eyes darting from Renjun to Jisung, and then to Jeno.

It’s their monthly sleepover at the Prince’s bedroom and this is the first time, Jaemin isn’t present. From all the years that they have been friends since they were 10, they always have the monthly sleepover.

And even though they come from various social class, Jeno being the Prince, Donghyuck is the son of the right hand man of the King, Renjun is the son of the Royal Palace’s Head Philosopher, and Jaemin and Jisung are the sons of one of the employees of the Palace, they become close friends.

It was only after a day of Jaemin’s disappearance that they learned of the reason why Jaemin suddenly went missing. According to Jisung who called his parents that evening when Jeno bugged him to find out the reason behind Jaemin’s disappearance, that their father needed someone to accompany him on an official trip to Canada because his assistant suddenly contracted a disease. There’s no other choice but had Jaemin take on his assistant’s role, and the trip took longer than expected.

It’s pissing Jeno off and he’s not even sure why.

“Apparently, he won’t be back until his birthday.” It’s Renjun who supplies an answer and Jeno almost falls out of his bed.

“You talked to Jaemin?” He croaks out, trying to steady himself but failing to do so. He doesn’t want to sound so, _for lack of a better term_, bitter. He merely (**desperately)**wishes to know why Renjun knows this whole huge varying information about Jaemin, not that Jeno is still hung up on that incident days ago where Renjun joked about the whole confession thing. _Ha-ha, he’s not that petty._

“I did not, you dofoos! Jisung told me a while ago,” Renjun replies. “You know, I was planning to tease you mercilessly and say, _I’ve been in touch with Jaemin every day all the time _but you are so dejected, I actually pity you. You look so miserable so I spared you the trouble, be grateful to me!” Renjun adds while he gets up and grabs a bag of chips on the table.

“I am not mi – “Jeno tries to argue but he doesn’t even have the energy to even start an argument so he just lets his comforter and his bed swallow him.

It has been 5 days since Jaemin left the palace and the only messages they have are the ones Jaemin were sending to Jisung. And they’re short, minimal, and don’t mention Jeno at all. **At all. **No, nothing, nada.

_I’m okay, Sung. Don’t worry. Eat your meals regularly!_

_Everything is fine. See you soon. I miss you!_

_Don’t forget to take your medicines, Jisung. I’m gonna ask Renjun when I get back. I asked him to look after you!_

_Don’t fight with Donghyuck too much. Love you, Sung._

Every day, 5 times or more, he bothers Jisung. He knows he’s abusing his power as the prince, as Renjun coins it, _harass _Jaemin’s younger brother but Jeno is desperate already. Jisung doesn’t mind though but as Jeno asks over and over again, without a miss, if Jaemin has messaged again, and day after day, he’s getting the same response, “Yes, he did, but no mentions of you, hyung. I’m sorry! I always included you in my messages, I swear!” 

Jeno becomes more and more disappointed. Jaemin is his best friend, they’ve been friends since they were born and it’s visibly dismaying how Jaemin doesn't seem to care about him.

Jaemin doesn’t even mention him on any of his texts to Jisung. That’s plain heartbreaking. And it’s completely justified that he feels kind of upset **(note - excessive) **with Renjun and Donghyuck too because they get a special shout out by Jaemin every so often which means Jaemin remembers them, thinks about them, and in conclusion, Jaemin misses them, so does that mean, Jaemin doesn’t miss Jeno? _After all that they’ve been through? _He doesn’t miss Jeno even one bit? It’s unfair, and a little **(extra) **sad. 

So Jeno pouts all throughout the day _(and the past days)_, and doesn't respond well to anything especially when Renjun and Donghyuck ask him a question. And today isn’t different from the rest of the previous days, he is feeling bitter at how Jaemin remembers Renjun and Donghyuck so Jeno tries to ignore them during their usual sleepover. 

“Father wants to finish the business trip as soon as possible because Jaemin hyung’s birthday is near so they’re actually pretty busy doing a lot of work and Jaemin hyung doesn’t have the luxury of time to even text or call me anymore.” Jisung explains, “And can you believe it, Jaemin hyung didn’t have his roaming on so it’s hard for him to reply. It’ll cost a lot!”

Jeno thinks he can pay whatever the price of Jaemin’s phone bill. But he doesn’t mention that. 

“Ah, our Na Jaemin never learns his lesson!” Renjun chuckles. _Our? Renjun says OUR? _Jeno takes notice of that. Because Na Jaemin isn’t Renjun’s.

“Too bad he doesn’t do social media too,” Donghyuck says, disappointed, “He’s the only person I know who refuses to create any social media account!”

“Well, that’s Jaemin hyung for you,” Jisung states as he shrugs.

The palace is noticeably quieter, maybe because Jaemin used to fill it with so much positivity. Even the King and Queen noticed the sudden shift in the palace’s surroundings that they suddenly asked Jeno if they needed to send a private jet to pick up Jaemin and his dad in Canada. Jeno almost agrees to the idea. But he thinks of the official business Jaemin is doing too. And they wouldn't really hop on the jet without finishing whatever business they have over there. 

“The only thing we can do now is to wait, I guess.” Renjun suggests, “So, what are we watching tonight?”

And when Donghyuck and Renjun are busy arguing over what High School Musical movie to watch, and Jisung secretly putting out a Marvel one, Jeno sits silently, thinking of why he feels empty – of why he feels all the energy has been drained out of his system.

Jaemin has been gone for 5 days but Jeno feels like his world is crumbling apart.

**August 11**

Jeno is aware of the work that has been piling up which needs his utmost attention and he’s also conscious that he has not been performing his duties diligently for the past few days. To be honest, he doesn’t feel really well. He tries to consult Dr. Moon a couple of times to inquire about his health and after a series of tests, they found nothing. He is healthy, he is okay, nothing is wrong with him. But why does he feel so down and miserable?

He doesn’t even have the strength to go out of the palace, sometimes even get out of bed. And when Donghyuck, Jisung, and Renjun surprise him and drag him out of the brick walls of the palace, telling him they need to go to the mall to liven up Jeno’s spirits, he sulks his way around the place.

“Stop being a brat!” Renjun scolds him for a number of times already, “And enjoy your free time outside the palace!”

Jeno doesn’t respond and only walks together with them, unwillingly of course. He’s not in the mood to start a lengthy exchange of but arguing takes a heap of his energy so he prevents himself from replying. Although Jeno should be celebrating from having an unplanned time off from his palace duties, he doesn’t seem to enjoy the time that’s freely given to him.

“It’s Jaemin’s birthday in two days,” Donghyuck suddenly announces ignoring Jeno’s incessant mood swings, “I’m going to buy a present for him now. Help me choose!”

At the mention of Jaemin’s name, Jeno suddenly perks up but then he realizes the weight of Donghyuck’s words, Jaemin’s birthday is in 2 days and the growing fear of not spending it with Jaemin saddens Jeno even more.

“You haven’t bought one yet?” Renjun fakes a gasp which earns him a slight punch from Donghyuck.

“I’ve been busy with my training, asshole! Why, have you bought yours?” Donghyuck replies stating his defense.

Renjun scoffs, “of course, bought it like a week ago. Jisung also has something, we are prepared like that. How about you, your majesty, have you bought yours?”

“Do you still need to know? Of course, he already has one. He always gives out the best presents to Jaemin too.” Donghyuck replies teasingly as he wiggles his eyebrows at Jeno.

Jeno is supposed to brag that yes, the present has been hidden in his closet for a week. Actually, he prepared a bunch of _presents. _Since Jaemin has been truly enjoying photography and video making, he decided to buy the latest camera with gear suited for photos and videos and a laptop that was filled with editing tools too along with other video editing accessories. But before he could tell them, Renjun changes the topic.

“Should we prepare a surprise?” He asks, “It can be our little welcome home party for him too.”

They all went silent for a second until Donghyuck dejectedly answers with another question, “but will he be here?”

Jeno listens intently by then and he knows the only person that can verify this is none other than Jisung but then he notices how Jisung’s face fell and he comprehends what’s going to be said next, he needs to prepare himself in so little time of the news that will eat out all his hope.

Jeno can feel it in his bones – in every vein of his body. He didn’t expect it’ll be great of a deal, _Jaemin not being with him for so long. _How long has it been since they were friends? He lost count. But as far as he knows, Jaemin has been with him all the time. And his friendship with Jaemin goes beyond being a commoner and a royal. And not seeing Jaemin every day is all new to him. It’s something he never thought of happening and now that it is, it’s so life-changing but it is a change that’s not good for him.

“I got a message from Jaemin hyung last night,” Jisung announces suddenly and the face he makes is enough of an answer. “I didn’t know how to really tell you.”

Jeno already knows even before Jisung speaks up again and it's extremely unfair. He knows it’s Jaemin’s birthday and not his but it’s as important as celebrating Jeno’s birthday too. It’s significant to him that he gets to celebrate Jaemin’s birthday. It’s an insane thought, he knows. It’s selfish too, he admits. There’s no exact explanation as to why it’s vital to him but it is.

“He won’t be here during his birthday but he assured me, he’ll be here before the ball,” Jisung tells them.

It’s supposed to bring Jeno relief, knowing Jaemin will be coming back to him in a few days. But the dismay running through his entire body cannot outweigh the good news. He’s disappointed but he still cannot pinpoint the exact reason why.

“Thank goodness,” Renjun announces, hands up in the air, “I won’t deal with a bitchass prince anymore.”

A single statement changes the mood, Jisung laughs out loud and Donghyuck is smirking, nodding, agreeing with Renjun. But Jeno still feels indifferent and he can only glare in response.

“Well, it’s true!” Renjun insists, “You’ve been sulking for days! And your temper tantrum is showing, even the King and Queen are worried for you.”

It’s true though and Jeno notices his mood has not been the best. And of course, he’s thinking things through. He questions himself on what’s really happening to him. He almost consults the royal psychologist but he deems it better not to. He’s aware that it’s related to Jaemin but the core basis isn’t realized yet.

“It’s just so different when Jaemin isn't around,” He finally admits because it’s the truth. He doesn’t need to say anything else.

Renjun laughs a little and still puts on his best sarcasm, “Just admit you miss him and go.”

A few seconds tick by and it becomes silent, maybe they're expecting Jeno to deny it but denying it won’t mean what he feels will go away.

So Jeno decides to let go of the truth, “I do. I do miss him.”

There’s a sudden shift in everyone’s reaction and to be honest, Jeno expects it but not that big of a reaction from each one. Jisung spits out the peach fruit tea he’s drinking, Donghyuck almost slips, and Renjun’s eyes widen.

“What?” They ask in unison.

“This is new!” Jisung adds after.

“After all these years, Lee Jeno! You’re finally realizing it! I am damn proud.” Donghyuck says as he gives Jeno a hug which Jeno finds weird. He’s just admitting he’s missing his friend, what is the sudden fuss about? He looks confused and he bets, Renjun detects already what Jeno is thinking because Renjun is looking at him judgmentally.

"Of course, I miss him.” Jeno explains further, “He's a friend, I will miss you all too if you leave the palace. Don’t you miss him too?"

And with that, Renjun gives the impression of being someone who wants to murder Jeno. Jisung seems to be disheartened and it shows when the youngest slaps his own forehead while Donghyuck announces to everyone that he surrenders and he’s tired and if the ground can swallow him alive, he’ll be forever grateful.

"You're an idiot!" Renjun tells him.

"Hey, I'm your prince!" Jeno retaliates.

"Yeah yeah, but still an idiot!"

“Hyung, you don’t miss us this much when the three of us leave the palace for so long,” Jisung utters and shrugs, he’s looking at Jeno like Jeno is missing a puzzle piece. It feels like Jisung is handing him the piece but Jeno isn’t quite sure where to place it. “Just remember, you have my full support!” Jisung smiles at him, bright and warm. 

He really does miss Jaemin a lot, and he realizes it only just lately. Jisung is right but he’s not ready to admit it yet. Because what he didn’t tell his friends is that the desire to see Jaemin differs from everyone else. He doesn’t think about Renjun when he travels for a week, or when Donghyuck joins his family for a vacation, or when Jisung had to attend a camp. 

But really, why does his heart feels so heavy when Jaemin is not around?

**August 13, 2019**

To: JaeminJaemJaemJaeminie

**Jaemin-ah, happy birthday! I wish you were here. Let’s celebrate once you’re back, okay?**

There's no response, not even a simple thank you or even an emoji. And Jeno sent this exactly at 12 midnight. He even slept at 3 in the morning, waiting for a response and when he wakes up 3 hours after, the first thing he checked was his phone, but there’s not a single message from Jaemin.

Jeno waits for the whole day hoping Jaemin will give him at least an acknowledgment that he receives Jeno's messages, just a tiny bit confirmation will suffice, but Jeno receives nothing. And this is not the only time he has sent Jaemin a message. He has been religiously sending Jaemin messages every day since the latter left the palace, without a miss, but not once did he reply.

Jeno gets it. Jaemin must have been pretty busy, but a minute of his time would not have created that much of an impact. It doesn’t take an awfully long time to send Jeno something – **_anything_**.

He spends the rest of the day lazing around his room. He refuses to see anyone, not even Renjun, Donghyuck, and Jisung. He just feels the worst and he misses Jaemin so badly. If he could stay in bed all day, he’ll do it. He’ll drown himself with sleep but then, the King orders him to join them for dinner, and Jeno can’t really refuse because it’s his father’s orders.

So despite the fact that his heart feels heavy, he doesn’t have an appetite, and he doesn’t possess the brightest mood, he forces himself to eat with his parents so it isn’t a surprise when they notice his negative aura and finally ask him about it. 

"What's wrong with your face?" The King asks during dinner. "You've been having this weird look on your face." He tries to demonstrate by mimicking how Jeno looks but failing miserably.

"Huh?" Jeno suddenly inquires, "What’s wrong with my face, father?" He asks in a low tone that it’s as if all the energy has been sucked out of his system.

His mother, visibly filled with concern, looks at him and he knows she wants to reach for his hand and try to give him a sense of comfort but she can’t because they’re far apart.

"You have this desolate looking but upset kind of face.” The King tries to elaborate, “Did something happen?"

_Yes, Jaemin is not here and I want to see him so badly. I miss him so much. _He desperately wants to answer.

"Is there someone making our dear son all cranky?" The King teases, wiggling his eyebrows in the process.

Jeno is feeling extra drained to even correct them but his silence results to even more questions flooding him, one by one, all at once, both from his parents.

"Did you fight with Donghyuck?"

"Did Renjun scold you for being _unprincely_?"

“Have you lost in a game with Jisung again?”

And with several other mundane questions, he already fails to hear and process clearly, Jeno is forced to tell them the truth, "No. It’s just that-" he starts off, cutting his father mid-sentence from a question about something related to his allergies.

"It’s Jaemin's birthday," he finally tells them.

He diverts his attention to the food he barely touched, staring at them with his mind really handling his confession to another level making him fully aware of how he desperately wants to see Jaemin. Although he’s not really waiting on his parents’ response, he still expects a single reaction, maybe something to comfort him.

“Oh, my baby,” Jeno hears his mother speaks after a couple of heartbeats, "Yes dear, we know. It’s unfortunate that we don’t get to celebrate his birthday here in the palace this year so we just sent him a gift. And he said he’s sad that he’s not here too!”

Jeno is sad, desperate, and desolate but he suddenly feels cheated. Jeno perks up really fast that he might’ve startled both his parents, "You sent him a gift? And he talked to you?" He says, his voice got pretty loud. _It’s unbelievable! It’s unfair! _How come Jaemin replies to the King and Queen and not to Jeno? What is wrong with Na Jaemin? Seriously, what is up with him?

"Of course.” His father utters as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. “It’s his birthday. You did not send him one? And I called his father and insisted he put Jaemin on speakerphone so we can talk to him. You haven’t spoken to him today?”

_No, not even on the other days. _

Jeno has thought of sending his presents too but he wants to personally give them to Jaemin because he’s excited to see how Jaemin will react to his gifts. He already knows that his best friend will be happy and he wants to savor that moment. Because when Jaemin is smiling, it makes Jeno the happiest.

“I- I didn’t.” He says softly, “Because I was waiting for him to come back.” He doesn’t mention anything about not speaking to Jaemin ever since the latter left the palace, it’s making him too sad.

“My baby.” His mother mutters and suddenly he sees his mother leaving her seat and coming up to him. “He’ll be back soon, don’t worry.” She assures him as he tries to pull Jeno from his seat and hugs him.

It’s comforting. Of course, his mother’s hug is the best but he still misses Jaemin so badly. 

“Do you want us to send our private plane to pick them up?” The King suggests. It’s the second time the King offers him this. Jeno regrets turning down the first time so he won’t be saying no this time. 

“Can we, can you, can you do that, please?” He asks, almost inaudible. Jeno is desperate, that is the truth. His heart feels so empty and his mind at haze, Jaemin has not been with him for so long and it’s starting to really hurt every single thing that makes up his heart.

“I’ll call Captain Qian now.”

Somehow, it should alleviate the pain Jeno’s 

**August 15, 2019**

“Jaemin is back!” Is what he hears when he answered a call from Renjun at seven in the morning.

Jeno has never been so quick to jump out of bed, still with his robes on, and run towards Jaemin’s room. He sprints out, hoping to see his best friend, _finally, _to ask how he’s been, to tell him that Renjun and Donghyuck bullied him for the past days, and to admit that he missed Jaemin, truly - more than he expects to.

So Jeno runs as fast as he can, hoping to finally see Jaemin after these grueling, heart-shattering, life-changing weeks. 

When Jeno arrives at the room, he sees a familiar black suitcase which was his gift to his best friend 3 years ago but when he scanned the area, Jaemin is nowhere to be found. He searches for him like what he did the first-day Jaemin has gone missing but now with more intensity. He even orders some of the palace guards to leave their posts so they can help him find Jaemin. He tries to dial Jaemin’s number several times but the latter doesn’t answer and his calls are forwarded to voicemail, so he turns to Renjun again.

There’s a ring, _once, twice_, Jeno feels even more agitated. When Renjun finally picks up after the fourth ring, Jeno wastes no time and goes straight down to business.

“Where’s Jaemin?” He asks. There’s a pause. And then he faintly hears Renjun cursing on the other end of the line. And a few words Jeno finds hard to catch, Renjun is most probably asking the people with him. 

After a couple of seconds, Renjun returns with a stressed, “Oh shoot! You haven’t seen him yet? He didn’t go to you?” Renjun says and his voice is laced with concern. 

“Aren’t you with him?” Jeno clarifies. 

“No, not anymore. But he was with me awhile ago,” Renjun explains. _Dang. Jaemin was with Renjun? And Jeno hasn't seen him? Why would Jaemin be with Renjun and ---_

“Jeno,” Renjun cuts off the various ideas clouding Jeno’s brain, “I was just lucky I bumped into him when he is on his way to Jisung. That’s why I called you immediately. Hyuck has not seen him yet too.” 

And as Renjun explains the situation further, Jeno becomes aware of the answer to his first question and it certainly isn’t going to be good news.

There’s a clear hesitation from Renjun as it takes the latter sometime before he speaks again. But Jeno already accepted the fact that he won’t be seeing Jaemin anytime soon.

“He left the palace already. He just fetched Jisung because they’ll celebrate his birthday together with their mom. Family time.” It’s a valid excuse, explanation, reason or whatever it is. Jaemin has been away for too long. It is only natural for his mom and Jisung to miss him too

So despite the longing Jeno feels, he suppresses it.

“I’m sorry, Jen.” It’s a genuine concern coming from Renjun and if the circumstances are different, Jeno would have gagged and teased his friend but maybe he needs some kind of consolation now too. _It’s just been so hard lately._

“It’s okay,” he admits. “I’m okay,” he concedes. “Family is important. I’ll just see him later, then,” he hopes. And before Renjun fulls on pity him, he ends the call.

Jeno goes back to his room. And albeit disappointed, a wave of relief washed over his body, _Jaemin is finally back. He’s almost an arms reach. He is here. _He will finally get to see Jaemin again. 

Everything will turn back to normal and his stupid heart won’t hurt any longer.

***

Time quickly passed by and every passing minute, Jeno waits for Jaemin. He couldn’t even concentrate on anything. He tries to watch a variety of television shows but his mind whirls back to his excitement to see Jaemin. He even attempted to bother attending a meeting for the grand ball (which he purposely ditched for the past weeks) only to be sent away because his mind was not in the topic. 

And as the hours tick by, and the colors of the sky change, Jeno’s excitement is slowly turning to disappointment. 

When the sky switches to black, the feeling of disappointment once again envelops his heart. _Again? He won’t be able to see Jaemin, again? _And although Jeno forces himself once more to understand what’s going on, that he won’t be seeing Jaemin today too, he doesn't really get any other choice but to relent. 

He goes to Renjun’s room right away, asking if he can reach out to Jaemin, attempts to call Jaemin, Jisung or anyone from his family to ask what has happened, why Jaemin is not back in the palace yet? It takes them several tries until finally, Renjun was able to connect with Jisung. It turns out Jaemin and his family decided to spend the night in a hotel to enjoy quality family time. 

“They missed Jaemin too,” Renjun tries to comfort Jeno after the call, “you’ll see him tomorrow. That I am sure.” Jeno doesn't even bother to respond, he only nods and leaves Renjun, the latter looking at him sadly. 

Jeno spends the whole night thinking all about Jaemin, mulling over the days when his best friend is gone and how difficult it is for him to not see nor talk to Jaemin. He looks back on the hardships he faced, the difficulty to function normally because Jaemin is missing. And the continuous worry he feels when his mind tries to figure out if Jaemin has eaten yet if he’s doing okay, if he is well, if he is happy, and he continuously wonders, fears, what if Jaemin never comes back. _What if Jaemin leaves him permanently? _

Selfish may it seems, but Jeno comes to a realization that no matter what happens, he doesn’t want Jaemin to leave the palace anymore. Because Jaemin leaving again means Jeno will undergo something similar or worse than what he has experienced the past few weeks.

And he’ll do something about it, assert his title, make it a law, anything - _just - _anything.

The past week has been shattering. Jeno is not sure if he can be able to handle if there will come a similar time.

Jeno realizes he won’t be able to ever function normally without Jaemin beside him.

**August 16**

Jeno barely sleeps. At a crucial moment like this where the annual Palace Ball is in a few days, the prince needs to attend to his duties. He tries to be cooperative, even attempted to finally attend a meeting but was told his mind was wandering somewhere.

All the royalty and favored allies from all over the world, including the most influential and richest families are invited. It’s one of the most sought after events and Jeno’s responsibilities have been piling up. He has not done his fitting, hasn't attended one rehearsal dinner, hasn’t checked out the guest list, or even properly presented himself in one of the meetings.

All those unnecessary micro irrelevant businesses aren’t on Jeno’s priority list which contains only a single line: _Na Jaemin. _

Maybe it’s an hour, 2 hours? 3 hours of sleep? Jeno doesn’t seem to mind because as soon as the sun starts to rise, he bolts out of his room and waits in the gate. He needs to see Jaemin first thing in the morning. He has been ignoring the butlers who would ask for his time or the officials who would ask for his presence if he’s well enough to attend the meeting. But he declines them all.

He stands a few steps away from the main gate, a calculated space where he can see in almost every angle if someone is approaching the palace. 

An hour passes, Jaemin is not yet here. The butlers have been asking him to sit, providing him chairs or anything to sit on, worried that he’ll be uncomfortable standing, but Jeno keeps refusing all their efforts. An hour ticks by again. Jeno patiently waits. 

The growing fear of not seeing Jaemin crawls into his skin. He won’t last a day anymore. If won’t be able to see Jaemin today, he’ll have to find a way. He can ask all the palace guards to search for him, he’ll write a decree, he’ll demand the cooperation of every citizen - anything - he’ll do anything.

Time passes, and Jeno’s losing hope. He’s about to leave his spot when a familiar figure comes into view. 

Jeno’s heart rate starts to speed up hurting his chest in the process. He recognizes the familiar squeeze on his heart. The sudden force as if pulling out the invisible heartstrings - and his heart does this, only for Jaemin. 

He can’t wait any longer, and though he knows a lot of eyes are glued on him, on his every move, and as he surges forward not minding his status, Renjun always terms it, _unprincely_, he runs as fast as he can.

_Finally, finally, Jaemin is here._

Jeno has prepared his welcome speech, he’s going to say he missed Jaemin so much and that the weeks have been challenging for Jeno. He’s going to invite Jaemin to dinner too so they can celebrate his birthday. There are a lot of things to say and Jeno has all day, all the time in the world to speak to Jaemin. _Finally._

And as Jeno runs, Jaemin sees him too. 

Jaemin flashes a wide grin, _and oh, _how Jeno misses that cunning smile. Jeno is indeed on top of the clouds. _Jaemin is back. _His heart is hurting but it’s warm, it’s a different kind of pain - a happy one to be exact and he’s finding it hard to breathe too. He’s okay, he affirms to himself, _more than okay. _

Jeno’s eyes try to see Jaemin wholly, checking if everything is indeed true, and not a trick of his imagination. He badly desires to envelop the latter into his arms but then he sees something that makes him feel an instant surge of pain. The excitement Jeno feels and the drums whacking his heart has been changed into worry and anxiety. Because there’s a cast placed in Jaemin’s right arm. 

“Hey, Prince Jeno!” Jaemin greets him casually, the familiar toothy grin in place. 

Jeno’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and worry combined. And instead of the planned speech, Jeno is supposed to be reciting, Jeno gives Jaemin a piece of what he’s feeling instead. 

“What happened to your arm?” It’s out of instinct as Jeno reaches to gently touch Jaemin’s right arm which is covered with a bandage. “Are you okay? Why are you hurt? What happened? Is that all? Are you injured anywhere else? What happened to you? Who did this? Is it painful? God, Jaemin! What happened?”

“Hey, Jen-, Prince Jeno,” Jaemin cuts him off, “I’m okay. Don’t worry. Just minor injuries, no biggie, and I’m not hurt anywhere else. I’m truly 100 percent, okay and it’s a long story, I'm gonna tell you all about it later.”

Jeno isn't able to listen to everything Jaemin has said. His mind is preoccupied with worry, wondering what the hell happened in Canada. _What could've happened?_

“Have you had this check? Should I call Dr. Moon?” The pour of questions flow through, “Come on, we’re going to have a full-body check-up and-”

“Jeno,” Jaemin reaches out for Jeno’s left hand and Jaemin’s touch burns. It ignites something in Jeno’s heart, a spark turning into a fire. But Jeno ignores it, like how he ignores all the conflicting emotions he has been having recently, like how he ignores the strange feeling he has for a while, like how he ignores the idea of maybe - just maybe, what he feels for Jaemin is not something akin to what he feels for Renjun or Donghyuck. 

“I am okay,” Jaemin assures him, “This is okay and this cast will be removed tomorrow. I am really okay. Please don’t worry too much.” 

But no amount of words can be able to stop Jeno from worrying but Jaemin is looking directly into his orbs, a silent pleads, a promise that he’s telling the truth. Jeno hesitantly acknowledges it because how can he not feel a pain in his heart, knowing Jaemin is hurting too. 

“How can I not worry?” He replies, averting his gaze. The truth comes out suddenly, a slip into what he truly feels, “You left without saying anything and then you come back with this injury? How am I supposed to - ”

“Jeno,” Jaemin cuts him off again, “Please, believe me, I am really okay.” He says slowly, convincing Jeno, trying his best to explain. 

Jeno can’t do anything but surrender with the way Jaemin is squeezing his arm, the way Jaemin is looking at him. He feels so weak.

Silence envelopes them for a while and it gives Jeno the moment to collect his feelings, to think about his speech but as Jaemin gives him a soft smile and slowly envelopes him into a hug; Jeno realizes that all the compound sentences he practiced aren’t relevant anymore. Because he only needed to say one request.

And as Jeno carefully wraps his arms around Jaemin’s body, basking the warmness Jaemin emits, drowning himself in the unexplainable sensation of bliss, he utters his plea, “Please don’t leave again,” Jeno implores. 

He’s waiting for an answer, an assurance, a promise but moments passed and there’s still nothing. And when Jaemin breaks the hug, he only smiles at Jeno. And the smile is not even a confirmation, it’s only a diversion. 

Jeno briefly forgets about it when Jaemin speaks again, “Want to go annoy the sanity out of Renjun?” Because Jaemin, _his best friend_, is back. And that is what is important. 

Little did Jeno know that the answer to his request will haunt him soon. And Jeno will wish that he should have demanded an answer right there and then. 

But Jaemin is grinning at him, and everything is back to normal so Jeno lets himself be happy. 

Jaemin is back. 

_Finally. _

His heart isn’t hurting anymore. _Finally._

**August 17**

Jeno sleeps peacefully. Of course, he does. He spent most of his time the previous day with Jaemin and even though Renjun, Donghyuck, and Jisung joined them (_to his slight disappointment), _the day has been nothing but pure bliss. They threw Jaemin a late birthday party and handed him their gifts. 

Jeno felt over the moon when Jaemin enveloped him in a tight hug when the latter unwrapped his presents. Although, at one point during the day, he thought of strangling Renjun because of how clingy he suddenly became to Jaemin. And he wanted to curse Donghyuck too for buying a coffee maker because Jaemin said it was the best gift. But all was well, the day turned out to be one of Jeno’s most favorite days. And even though he stayed up late watching the latest Haikyuu!! episodes with Jaemin, Jisung, Renjun, and Donghyuck. The moment he wakes up, he already feels energized. And is already looking for what lies ahead.

For the first time in weeks, he joins his parents for breakfast. If the King and Queen notice the sudden massive shift in Jeno’s aura, they didn’t tease Jeno about it. 

He’s looking forward to a great day, of course, Jaemin promised him they’ll spend the day together. 

He is in the middle of a meeting, he finally attends one with his mind totally focused on it, when he receives a message from Renjun. To ignore it is his first choice but Donghyuck and Jisung both send a message too. And the messages contain the same content: **SOS.**

Jeno excuses himself briefly to whip out a quick call and when Renjun answers the phone, Jeno is shaken to his very core, “Jaemin is insane! Jeno, this is an emergency! Go to Mr. Kim’s office this instant!” 

“Why? Is there something wrong with Jaemin?” He panics a little. 

“He’s crazy! It’s just – you’ll know once you’re here. Please, come here.” It’s a brief explanation but Renjun’s voice emits urgency. 

He moves swiftly without even telling anyone where he is heading. The only thing occupying his mind ends up being Jaemin again, at what must've happened, what emergency, what is the urgency? 

When he arrives at Mr. Kim’s office, Donghyuck and Renjun are waiting for him outside.

“Guys, what’s this? Is this a prank or?” He says.

Renjun snarls, “No, it’s not! I wish this is though! Jaemin and Jisung are inside,” he briefly explains, 

“Go! Stop him! Use your position! Just please, stop Jaemin!” Donghyuck adds.

And from the glass window, Jeno makes eye-contact with Jaemin and the latter offers a tiny wave, mouths an, “_I’ll explain later.” _

But Jeno doesn’t want an explanation later. They enter the office and Jeno sees Jisung is on the verge of crying. When the younger notices Jeno, he scrambles to get to him. 

“Hyung!” Jisung calls Jeno as he reaches out for his hand, tugs him to where Jaemin is, “Please help me. Jaemin hyung has gone insane!”

He has never seen Jisung this panic-stricken and the nervousness climbs up to his spine. Whatever is happening is something big. 

“What are you talking about?” Jeno asks, his voice suddenly breaking. 

He notices the pile of papers on Mr. Kim’s desk. There are several papers - forms to be exact. And Jaemin has one on his hand, on the last page, and then he is signing it. 

“Jaem, what're all these?” He squints, bites his lips. His heart is hurting again, too much. 

“Oh, Your Highness.” Jaemin smiles at him. “I’m resigning from my post.” The words left Jaemin’s mouth so easily like it’s a normal thing to do like it’s a regular thing he says as if it’s final as if it’s true.

“I’m leaving the palace,” Jaemin utters and every single string in Jeno’s heart has been pulled. 

“See! He’s gone insane!” Renjun almost shouts but he’s on the verge of tears too. 

“Re-resigning?” Jeno makes sure he heard it right because how can Jaemin resign from his post? This is nonsense. And if it’s a joke he’s trying to perfect, well, it’s mean and hurtful. _Can the jokes stop now, please? _ “What? Is this a prank?” He says, his voice betraying him.

Jaemin takes a long breath, “No, this isn’t a prank, Jeno. I’ve filed my request to vacate the post the day I returned and the King already signed my papers. It’s official.” 

Before Jeno can even recover from the fact that his father betrayed him, Jaemin starts to explain further.

“It’s out of the blue, I know. But when we went to Canada, this school had this scholarship, I took the exam and I passed, I’m going to study in Canada.” It’s so easy for Jaemin to say all of these, to suddenly sprung everything to him, to them. Jeno’s head hurts, he needs a moment to process all these unreal words. This can’t be it, no, this can’t be true.

“You’re leaving?” He asks but what he really wants to say is _You’re leaving me?_

“No! You can’t go!” Jisung starts to speak, he pleads, “hyung, you didn't even consult me. Why are you doing this?” 

“It’s a one time offer, Sung. I’m sorry. I had to grab it. I’ll visit often and there are vacations too, I’ll be here whenever you need me. I promise.”

“But I need you every day!” Jisung tells his brother and _Jeno knows what Jisung said is a reflection of what he feels too because he needs Jaemin every day too._

“This school and the classes they have are all amazing, Jisung. They have a creative program that will really develop not only my photography skills but also various other art forms. The campus is big and beautiful and they have the state of the art - ”

The sparks in Jaemin’s eyes are something Jeno can’t give to him. And as Jaemin further explains everything, describes the place, the happiness coming out of Jaemin isn’t something Jeno can provide. And though it pains him to his core, he senses Jaemin’s resolve is final. There’s nothing he can do about it. _Sadly._

“When- when are you going to leave?” 

For a brief second, Jaemin looks surprised, as if he isn’t expecting Jeno to relent this easily but he quickly reverts back to his old self, smiling, and no one really notices the brief change. He wipes off his disappointment and replaces it with his ever soft smile. 

“The semester starts August 27,” he tells them. And after a few beats, he adds, “I need to leave by August 23.”

Renjun starts to talk about how Jaemin becomes selfish for only telling them this late. Donghyuck joins and accuses Jaemin of betraying them, Jisung only stands there, now speechless as he fights the tears from falling. 

_A week. _It’s such a short time. 7 days. Jeno only has 7 days. 

Jaemin is leaving him and it’s hurting every part of him.

**August 22:  
present day**

Donghyuck lets out a disgruntled groan, “You’re really asking me this?”

It’s understandable that Donghyuck has been throwing him all these insults because for the past days since Jaemin revealed his plans of leaving the palace, he was just moping around. He took it to his heart and it affected him to the point that he tries to avoid Jaemin as much as he can. Jeno has created a mantra - a routine of making himself accustomed to Jaemin not being around him.

He decides it’ll lessen the pain when Jaemin eventually leaves him but every day that passed by since then, the pain he feels only doubles, no, it triples, no, it’s even greater than that. Every day, he feels miserable, like his world has crumbled and has no means of ever being repaired. 

“You’re so fucking dumb, Jeno!” Donghyuck stresses out. “Your plan on avoiding Jaemin isn’t working, right?” He says.

The truth is out there, and Jeno can almost taste it.

“Jeno, do you not realize what is happening?” It’s more subdued now, the way Donghyuck seems to be the one hurting for him too. Maybe his friends have grasped the truth earlier than him because this is the same question that Renjun has raised a few days ago. 

“Jaemin is leaving and it’s hurting you because you can’t stand a day without him,’ Donghyuck voices out as if reading Jeno’s mind. 

“I know. I realized that!” Jeno spits out because he knows, he truly knows that it’s what’s happening and it’s getting insanely painful to the point that his brain only thinks of Jaemin every second of every hour of every day. 

“You know you can’t make him stay.” It’s the truth too. And Donghyuck is looking at him sadly. “But there’s a way for you to be together, haven’t you realized that yet?”

Jeno has been weighing varying circumstances, that’s why it’s difficult for him to settle into an answer but the past days teaches him a lesson and eventually he realizes what he should do. So without even answering Donghyuck, Jeno stands up and rushes to find Jaemin. He’ll tell him how he feels – _everything._

So he runs and he almost misses Donghyuck’s, “Go and be happy, you idiot!”

Maybe that’s the last time Donghyuck will call him that. Because Jeno has a plan in his mind that will put an end to all his misery; the solution to his problem. 

Clad in his best suit, he rushes out towards the grand ball. He’s sure Jaemin is there because he is probably catering to the needs of the guests. 

With his heart pounding against his ribcage, hands trembling in anticipation, he ignores the royal attendees telling him he should get to his place because the ball is about to start. He might as well have missed the official introduction of the royal family than to miss the chance to tell Jaemin how he feels.

“Prince Jeno, you need to be with the King and Queen,” one of the royal butlers have informed him. “The ball is about to start and they need you there with them.”

“Tell them I have no time for that and I have more important matters to attend to!” He instructed firmly. If he came across as rude then he’ll have to apologize later but his utmost attention is only directed at a single thing. So Jeno runs, hoping he has the time to find Jaemin before he leaves Jeno for good.

Jeno counts every passing second, worried he’ll run out of it. Because what he badly needs right now is time – enough time to tell Jaemin how he feels. 

Jeno arrives at the grand ball, finally, and the area has started to get busy with all the visitors coming from various parts of the world. Jeno’s initial and only purpose is to get to Jaemin as fast as possible because there’s something he needs to do, what he should’ve done days ago - months ago. He scans the area fast but delicate - not wanting to miss any sign of his best friend.

The faces of random people cloud his eyes, the sparkling dresses, the velvety clothes, the colorful decorations make Jeno’s min whirl. But he concentrates enough, using all the will he can muster, scanning through every person, telling himself he needs to locate where Jaemin is. 

And then he sees him, several feet away near the musicians, attending to a guest. Jeno swallows the lump in his throat and his heartbeat has doubled its speed. 

Jeno wastes no time as he speed-walks towards him. _Just a little bit more, a few more steps. _

“Prince Jeno, oh my, how are you?” A guest suddenly appears in front of him and Jeno barely recalls the woman who’s wearing a shiny yellow dress but he’s guessing she’s from a prominent family. 

“Hello,” Jeno says without looking at her as he is too focused on Jaemin, fearing the latter will disappear from his sight, “I will have to excuse myself as I need to be somewhere,” he says hastily and without even waiting for a reply, he leaves her. 

He walks, ignoring all the greetings from various people, which he shouldn't have been doing but there’s no other choice. 

And then, finally, Jeno is there two steps away from Jaemin. 

Jeno fights the urge to cry because he misses him because it’s the first time in the past days that he’s ever been near him. It’s his own fault - for ignoring him, for thinking that he’ll have to get used to a life without Jaemin in it.

He is foolish, he knows. The most foolish of them all. 

The past few days of him ignoring Jaemin has been nothing but hell as if Jeno is under a curse where he only suffers. He made several childish excuses not to see him, turning down Jaemin’s offer to go out, to eat together, to watch the sunset together, Jeno denied them all. And Jeno feels really stupid, Donghyuck and Renjun are right, Jeno is really the stupidest.

And now that he’s near Jaemin, he wants to envelop him in his arms, and will not want to ever let go. 

“Jaemin,” But he can only call out his name. “Jaem,” He says again, more softly, like he’s afraid he’ll cast a spell and Jaemin will suddenly disappear. 

Jaemin looks at him, his eyes opening widely, must be because he’s surprised that Jeno has finally talked to him because it’s the first time in several days. But before Jaemin can reply back, Mr. Na has called his son and asks him to attend to one guest.

“Jaemin, the president of Jung Corporation needs you. Go and help him.” 

“Of course,” Jaemin replies and he shoots Jeno an apologetic look before he scurries to where the _god damn Jung Corp president is._

“Wait, Jaemin, please,” Jeno says, but no one heard him. Jaemin is already several feet away from. 

For a brief second, Jeno has frozen on his spot, unable to think of what to do next. It takes him a moment to realize time has not been on his side for the past months and he needs to take action. It’s a now or never situation, to assure Jeno’s sanity stays intact, then he’ll have to brawl with time if he has to. Jaemin will leave first thing in the morning, and to tell Jaemin how he feels tops Jeno’s priority list.

But before Jeno moves to chase Jaemin again, the drums started to play, and the announcement of the arrival of the King and Queen commences. He’s supposed to be there with them, walking down the grand staircase, greeting the guests. But he’s not.

When the King and Queen have stopped in the middle of the staircase to greet everyone, Jeno notices the King has seen him. And the look of confusion from the King appears for a split second when Jeno subtly waves, letting his Father know that he won’t be attending to his Prince duties for the time being. The King briefly acknowledges Jeno’s immaturity with a tight smile and proceeds to give his ever so brooding grin to everyone. 

The music stops, the chattering pauses, everyone is quiet because the King will give his speech.

“Welcome, my dear guests,” The King’s voice boom around the hall. 

All eyes are fixed on the King and Jeno thinks it’s his chance, so he tries to walk past everyone, exerting all the effort so he can reach Jaemin. 

Jeno has known this will take a little time before it ends and he can’t take it anymore and while the King is in the middle of thanking everyone who managed to attend the ball, Jeno uses this opportunity to catch up to Jaemin, he moves his way, faster, more eager to be with Jaemin. 

“Jaemin!” Jeno whispers as to not interrupt the King but the boy he is trailing can’t hear him. 

“Jaemin,” he repeats again but still, not a glance is spared. 

“Jaemin,” he tries once more, now that he’s nearer to him. But Jaemin still can't hear him. 

“Jaem,” he says, a little louder this time but he still fails to catch his best friend’s attention. 

Jeno’s getting frustrated every passing second, “Jaemin,” he tries again, still, no reaction.

When he’s finally had enough, his emotions got the best of him.

“Na Jaemin!” He screams in frustration, voice loud and clear that the King suddenly halts his speech, no music is being played, the guests turn mum, even the butlers and servants pause on whatever it is that they are doing. All attention is on him but he paid them no mind.

It is as if the whole grand hall is transported into another dimension. The ear-splitting silence overpowers everything. Jeno should be worried that he caused an interruption to the event but when Jaemin finally shoots him a glance, he forgets about everything else and only remembers one thing, the most important for him.

Jeno makes his way, one step, two steps, three steps. And then he’s right in front of Jaemin. His heart rate speeds up, Jaemin looks at him worriedly, _Jeno? What are you doing? _Jaemin’s eyes are telling him.

_I’m going to tell you how I feel. _Jeno’s brain processes. This is his chance, Jeno’s only chance to tell Jaemin everything. Without wasting any more chance nor risking to be interrupted again, Jeno goes straight to his purpose. 

“Jaemin, please be with me forever,” Jeno pleads. It’s a loud gesture for a prince. No prince should have pleaded for something he wants. A prince must protect his dignity. In reality, Jeno could’ve just written a decree, or ordered Jaemin to stay in the palace. That would be the easiest way out and the faster way possible in making sure Jaemin gets to stay with him forever, but forcing Jaemin under a law, by all means, is awful. So Jeno will want to persuade him, in a calmer manner, in a way Jaemin is not forced to leave but will make Jeno submerge in the assurance that he’ll forever be with Jaemin. 

Jaemin is visibly caught off guard but the latter recovers quickly as he hurries closer to Jeno, basically pacing at his hastiest. 

“Let’s talk about this after the ball,” Jaemin silently begs, worried that everyone is hearing their conversation, which is already the case.

“But this can’t wait,” Jeno whines. Because Jaemin is leaving as soon as the ball finishes. His flight is in the early morning and Jeno will have no time to spare or even make his point across. 

“Prince Jeno,” Jaemin is practically begging, “this isn’t the right time to –“

But Jaemin never finishes his sentence, Jeno grabs his arm afraid Jaemin will escape and he goes straight to what he needs to do. 

“I don’t think I can spend any minute without you. I won’t force you to stay here in the palace because that is unfair to you. But you need to know that your happiness is my happiness too and I support you in you wanting to pursue what you want, but I want to be sure that you will always be by my side,” Jeno pours out what, albeit jumbled, his heart has been narrating every single day.

Jaemin looks at him and shakes his head, “What are you talking about, Jeno? You’re being insane!” Jaemin speaks in a hush, in gritted teeth.

“If being insane means I get to be with you for the rest of my life, then yes, I am insane.”

“Prince Jeno, please. Let’s go talk somewhere—"

And in the middle of a heated conversation, when Jeno’s resolve has finally settled, when all his pent up emotions finally conclude into a single realization, when Jeno is so close to confessing the truth, his current reality comes crashing down on him. 

“Prince Jeno?” It’s soft, sweet, a voice he has never heard in a while shoots into his system, “My prince?”

For a brief second, Jeno’s hold on Jaemin weakens and Jaemin takes this opportunity to disentangle himself completely. 

“I’m sorry,” Jaemin says, louder this time, apologizing for the commotion that he didn’t even start, “Will you excuse me, Prince Jeno,” It’s not a request but a demand. 

“I’m so sorry,” Jaemin repeats again, “The Prince just feels lonely because he won’t have his best friend by his side, but - “Jaemin pauses, finding it hard to continue, “I will just excuse myself now,” he continues, “I’m sorry for causing trouble, Princess Lia.”

And before Jaemin walks away, he smiles bitterly and whispers, barely audible that Jeno almost missed it, “I am not the one for you, my prince,” Jaemin finally takes his exit, rushing, leaving Prince Jeno with the princess he is arranged to be married to. 

  * **•• Na Jaemin •••**

Jaemin knows the exact date, time, and place when he felt a shift in his life - a change so massive he ended up having to stay in bed for a week because the fever got the best of him. The doctor may have claimed it was because of the sudden change of environment but Jaemin knew it was beyond that. It was something surreal, out of the ordinary, and his body took the time to adjust to it, and to explain it more clearly, his feelings - emotions decided to jump in a rollercoaster ride. 

It was the day when his father asked him to start living in the palace and fulfill his duties to serve the prince. Jaemin was prepared for it, had been in training, learning all the tiny bits of the palace, how it works, what he would need to accomplish to make sure the prince’s concern is attended to or how he would manage juggling his studies and palace duties. 

But Jaemin still felt the overwhelming change because although he had been in the palace almost every day ever since he was 5, living in the palace hold a larger impact.

Because it meant that Jaemin would be closer to Jeno more than ever and it was not good for him, definitely not the best for him, not when he was hopelessly in love with someone he couldn’t have. Not when his heart had been with Jeno ever since Jaemin laid his eyes on him.

The Na family has long been serving the royal bloods, tracing back to Jaemin’s grandfather who previously tried to steal from the palace had been given pardon and instead was offered a job so he could have the means to support his family. From then on, his grandfather had vowed that his family would forever serve the palace in the years to come as a sign of their everlasting gratitude too that despite what happened in the past, the royal family has been nothing but kind to the Na family. 

Jaemin was 5 when he first entered the palace, his father serving as the head of the consular business affairs back then, has told him that Jaemin will be living in the palace when he reaches the age of 16 but Jaemin must visit the palace every day because he needed to start his early education. 

The palace offers education to a few chosen children of the palace’s officers expected to be the palace’s future officials too. 

“You’re going to meet the King and Queen today, and of course, the Prince too. He is the same age as you. I hope you get along well because you’re going to serve him when you get older,” Jaemin’s father has told him. 

Jaemin has not felt nervous because he was too young to understand the hierarchy of people. To him, he was just simply going to meet a family of important people. But not important enough for a five-year-old.

When Jaemin and his father arrived in the palace’s garden, Jaemin was in awe – basking into the beauty of varying colors of flowers. The grip he had on his father’s hands tighten, trying his best to contain his excitement, it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He focused attentively to the beauty of the flowers that he didn’t notice a pair of brown eyes looking at him, watching him, expectant, hopeful, and elated. 

“Jaemin,” his father called his attention and when he looked at his father, a bright smile, and he was gesturing Jaemin to look in front of him and when he did, Jaemin found it hard to breathe.

_He’s pretty. Is he a fairy? _He said to his father, tried his best to hide, suddenly felt bashful, flabbergasted, that a pair of adorable moon eyes was looking into his.

The King and Queen laughed aloud, thinking Jaemin’s question was hilarious.

“You must be Jaemin,” a beautiful woman had reached out to Jaemin, “you’re very pretty yourself.” She claimed.

“Are you a fairy too?” Jaemin asked, “because you’re really beautiful,”

“Oh my!” the Queen said, “Aren’t you a charmer?”

The adults laugh altogether, praising Jaemin for being eloquent at a young age but Jaemin’s focus has only been fixated on the same person.

And a few moments after, Jaemin got to meet him.

“Do you want to play with me? You can be my first friend,” the kid with a pair of the prettiest eyes, eyes that turned to crescent moons, asked Jaemin. _Who is Jaemin to even say no to a fairy?_

And ever since that fateful day, when Jaemin realized that the flower garden might be beautiful but it was incomparable to the beauty of the Prince. And from then on too, Jaemin had not seen anything nor any one more beautiful than the Prince.

When Jaemin realized many years later that what he has been feeling has transcended the meaning of friendship, he panicked. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment it happened or why it did but after so many years of being friends with the prince, Jaemin suddenly found it hard to breathe when Jeno was around him. His mind whirled into a haze whenever Jeno pulls him close to his side or whenever the prince flashes his endearing eye-smile. But in all honesty, Jaemin’s heart trembles when even Jeno does the bare minimum.

But ever since he realized he was in love with the Prince, Jaemin tried to suppress what he has been experiencing. He knew the thin line between a commoner and a royalty and his brain already accepted the reality of him not ending up with Jeno. Jaemin tried to distance himself most of the time but Jeno always ended up looking for him and finding him no matter what the circumstances were.

So living with Jeno had put him in an emotional turmoil. Because being in a close proximity with Jeno meant he would get to experience varying kinds of heartbreaks too.

Jaemin knew from the start that Jeno would never return his feelings because a member of the royal family would have to end up with someone who is a royal too. Jeno’s destined to fall in love with the likes of him, not with someone whose family had tried to steal from the King.

“Jaemin, did you see her?” Jeno had said one night when the King had called his son announcing he would marry a princess, “she’s really beautiful, I can’t believe she’s really going to marry me when I reach 25. I am a lucky guy!” 

Jaemin swallowed the heartbreak, smiled the pain away, and had told Jeno, the princess would the one who was lucky to marry Jeno too.

So Jaemin focused on his tasks, to attend to Jeno’s needs, to fulfill his duties to serve the royal family as much as he could, trying to give his best before he finally bid goodbye.

He planned on it, resigning on his post, looked for suitable schools where he could pursue what he wanted so he volunteered himself to be part of an official meeting led by his father and insisted he accompanies him on his trip. His father refused because Jaemin has responsibilities in the palace, duties he could not possibly ignore. But Jaemin insisted, he begged and told his father the truth – of his mind being occupied with nothing but the prince, and his heart only wants one person, a person who he knows cannot be with him. He needs time away from Jeno so Jaemin can figure everything out and put his feelings away, to end something before it creates unstoppable fireworks.

Jaemin is aware that Jeno treats him differently from the rest that sometimes, he is already sure Jeno feels the same. But Jaemin has come to realize a vital fact that Jeno is a prince and a prince is meant for someone who’s not a mere commoner. 

Jaemin’s case has been moot and academic before he even began to feel it - to justify it. Why won’t it be? When Jeno’s fate has already been sealed the moment he was born? His future has been set even before he has decided what to do it. 

By the time Jeno reaches his 25th birthday, he is bound to marry the daughter of the duke of their neighboring country. The Lees are one out of 2 Royal blood in the world and to continue their bloodline, it is only imperative they marry blue blood too.

Jaemin is in love with Jeno not because he’s the prettiest nor because he’s the prince. He’s in love with Jeno for many varying reasons and at the same time no reason at all.

***

** _Lee Jeno and Na Jaemin_ **

_Everything goes out of hand. _

Princess Lia, Jeno’s fiancé, stands in front of him, and Jeno, honest to goodness, only remember now, that he is bound to marry the princess in a year. He has not seen her in months because the princess is traveling. And that indeed, it is today, that the princess comes back to the palace, marking the start of the preparation for their wedding.

_How can Jeno even forget all about that?_ That this ball is about him and Princess Lia, how today is when their marriage will be announced to everyone.

How can Jeno not remember that colossal kind of information? 

This is already synonymous with severe idiocy. Jeno forgetting a big part of his life because of what? And of course, it all boils down to once certain fact. There’s something, someone, who holds the biggest part of him.

** _Jaemin. _ **

_That’s right_. Because Jeno has only been thinking about Jaemin, he has only been focused on Jaemin, his brain only processes information about Jaemin. That all the other information has been useless. Because his heart has always been beating for Jaemin. 

Lia looks at him, her beautiful eyes silently asking for an answer. This moment, Jeno holds the answer and he’ll give it to her even if it means defying his parents’ wishes.

So before he manages to breathe out an explanation, he needs to briefly let his parents know. Jeno turns around to where the King and Queen expecting to see the look of displeasure but instead, they’re smiling at him, as if encouraging him to do what he wants, to follow the beat of his heart. His mother, the Queen, shows him a bright smile, eyes telling Jeno that no matter what decision he takes, they’ll support him.

Jeno breathes in and breathes out, he takes a look at Jaemin again who is walking away and now a few feet from the grand halls’ door. Jeno needs to follow him but he also needs to sort out the mess he created.

“I’m sorry,” Jeno pleads, he is on the verge of tears as he stands in front of his fiancé, the women he is set to marry but unfortunately not the one his heart wants, “Lia, I am truly sorry, please forgive me,” he says as genuinely as possible. He hopes, he truly hopes he can be forgiven. 

Lia smiles at him gently, “yes, I know,” she replies, “it’s okay. I understand” And she gestures for Jeno to go, to run after Jaemin before it’s too late. “Do what your heart tells you to do, Jeno.” 

Jeno can only offer a simple nod and a heartfelt thanks. Lia deserves better, she deserves the world for her kindness. Too bad Jeno can’t give it to her. But he’ll repay her in the future. 

Jaemin is almost at the door and Jeno won’t forgive himself if he will miss his chance again.

“Na Jaemin!” He screams on top of his lungs because Jaemin needs to hear it. Jaemin needs to know he’ll only choose Jaemin, that Jaemin is and will be his priority. 

Jaemin pauses just when he’s about to open the door, and slowly turns around. Suddenly, the guards are in the door, making sure Jaemin doesn’t leave the place.

Soon, Jeno reaches Jaemin.

For Jeno, the time suddenly stops and he has been transported to a place where the only person he can see is Jaemin because that’s what it feels like. When he finally reaches him, he pours out everything. 

“Na Jaemin, I want to spend every day, every minute, every second of my life with you. And I can’t imagine you being with someone else. I was so miserable these past few days, Jaemin. You’re suddenly gone. You left me. I’m so used to seeing you every day that when you left, I didn't know what to do. I want you to always be near me, Jaemin,” The words pour out of his system so naturally, as if the words are waiting to be said. Like these should have been let out long before.

There are a few gasps that suddenly emerged from a once deafening silence, a few strained cheers coming from some attendees, Jeno can faintly hear Renjun’s _finally. _

Indeed, at last, finally, Jeno has said the truth. Jeno feels like a weight has been lifted off his chest. _Finally_. This will ensure Jaemin will forever be near him. But Jeno is not done yet, there are a few more words needed to be said.

So Jeno continues, “And I want to ensure that we will always be with each other’s side, so Na Jaemin, will you marry me?”

Jeno thinks this is it. This will solve all his problems. Marrying Jaemin means they’ll be together forever and that means no more heart pains. Jaemin will be his and he will be Jaemin’s.

But what he didn't expect is for Jaemin to look at him, eyebrows furrowing, and an evidently displeased reaction.

“No!” Jaemin utters so loudly that silence ensues once more. Jaemin has declined Jeno’s proposal in front of the King and Queen, in front of everyone in the ball. The smile was gone, the nervousness vanished, and Jaemin’s face is laced with anger.

Jeno undergoes a whirlwind of emotions. A lot of possibilities have been going on his mind. _What is happening?_

“Jeno, I won’t marry you just because you find it inconvenient that I’m not with you these past weeks” Jaemin explains. 

“Jaemin, you don’t understand. These past weeks had been the saddest days of my life. I could barely eat. I could barely sleep. I don’t even function normally.”

“Why?” Jaemin asks. He’s biting his lower lip.

Jeno is confused because he just explained everything, “What do you mean why?”

Jaemin looks like he’s about to cry, “Why do you feel that way?” 

“I, I don’t know. I just do. That’s why we need to get married so we won’t be separated any longer and we can live together forever.”

_Goddammit! I’m gonna punch him in the face!_ It’s Renjun’s voice suddenly echoing in the room. Jeno’s peripheral view reveals the King and Queen trying to stop Renjun and Donghyuck from charging forward. 

“Jeno,” Jaemin starts, more mellow now, “I’m sorry but I won’t accept your proposal.”

“No, Jaemin. Please. You have to,” Jeno says more desperate this time.

“Why? Why do I need to accept it?”

“Because - “Jeno pauses trying to come up with a better explanation in order to convince Jaemin. 

Then Jaemin offers a smile, the one that makes Jeno’s heart swell. It’s one of those smiles that makes him question all these emotions bubbling up inside of him. But also answers them all at once. 

“You don’t want to marry me,” Jaemin clarifies, “you’re just sad that I will leave you because we’ve been together for so long, but you can adjust to the changes. You’ve been adjusting well the past few days, right? You can live without me, my prince.” 

And then Jeno thinks _no, no, no_, that’s not it. He’s beginning to realize, to understand as to why he’s making it such a big deal. 

“But, you see Jeno, you’ll get used to it, you’ll get used to me not being around you all the time. It’ll be hard for the first few weeks, but eventually, it’ll be okay.”

_No, no, no! That’s not true. I will never be okay without you beside me._

“Prince Jeno, let’s just forget everything that happened just now. And if you’ll excuse me, I have to go now because my flight leaves early in the morning and this ball needs to continue, and by the way, this has been really entertaining for everyone because of us.” Jaemin offers a joke in the middle of all these revelations and as he begins to turn around again, wanting to quietly escape the scene, Jeno learns he doesn't like that one bit. 

For Jeno, the conversation is far from over, and he needs to settle everything once and for all. He won’t let another minute pass by that he won’t be able to elaborate what he feels and confess the truth that has been within him for so long. To hell with the ball, Jeno’s being selfish but his feelings should come first right at this moment.

“No,” Jeno speaks up and he swiftly reaches out to grab Jaemin’s arm, preventing the latter to escape the scene. 

In that little span of time, Jeno has remembered every little detail why his heart has always been crazily beating for Jaemin. There’s no exact date nor time, not even a moment, it’s all composed of a lot of different things, various memories, those micro-expressions Jaemin does, the way Jaemin takes care of him, of Jaemin choosing what benefits Jeno the most and not because Jeno is the prince but because Jaemin truly cares about Jeno and Jeno is so stupid to never realize it so early. Every little detail - they all make sense, they are the puzzle pieces. But it’s always been there - in his heart - a special spot with Jaemin’s name engraved on it. 

The whole grand hall whirls into silence again, adjusting to the aura of the moment. Gone were the unnecessary side comments from Renjun nor the threats from Donghyuck, not even the _shhhh _the King has been doing the past minutes. 

It’s only Jeno and his voice echoing in the whole room. This is it, this is where Jeno will let his heart out, will say nothing but the truth. 

“I want to marry you,” It starts off shakily. Petrified with what is about to come out of his system, Jeno braves every word and knows he’ll utter nothing but the truth, no holds barred. 

And with every string attached to his heart, with every vein making his heartbeat, and with every part of his soul only wanting and needing a single person, he lets out his truth. 

“I want to marry you because I am in love with you.” Jeno finally, _finally admits. _

“I love you, Jaemin. Not because I’m scared of losing you, not because I’m not used to going on my day without you beside me, not because it has been hard when you’re not with me the past few weeks, it’s not because I was angry when Renjun joked about you confessing to him, or when you said Donghyuck’s gift was the best, it’s not because of any of those things, it’s because you’re the first person I think of the moment I wake up, and the last person on my mind before I fall asleep, even wishing that you’ll be part of my dreams too.” 

Jeno doesn't even know how the words are suddenly overflowing or how the tears are suddenly building upon his eyes. _Is it because he’s desperate already? Is it because he fears Jaemin doesn’t feel the same? Is it because he feels guilty he’s only saying these words now when it should’ve been said before? _

“I love you because you’re the person I want to share everything with, the person I want to be with me until I get old, the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. And it’s unfair of you to say that I’ll get used to the fact that we won’t be together anymore because I don’t think there will come a time that I will want to be away from you. I want you to be with me all the time not because we’ve been together for so long. I want you by my side all the time because I love you.”

“Na Jaemin, I love you with all my heart. Please, marry me.”

Jeno doesn’t beg, he doesn’t implore, because everything is handed to him but he’ll drop down to his knees, to plead, to ask for it, he’ll do anything, he just wants Jaemin to be with him every second of every minute of every hour of every day.

It’s not a voiced out _yes _nor a worded, _of course,_ _I will marry you _but when Jaemin suddenly takes an effort to get closer to him, reaching for Jeno’s face and then both hands cupping Jeno’s cheeks so delicately, wiping the tears from his eyes, Jeno feels warm all over, his heart overflowing with emotions.

Jaemin smiles at him, _“God, why are you such an idiot?”_

_ “But I am in love with you too, my prince. I love you with all my heart too.”_

_***_

“I can’t believe Jaemin rejected you twice!” Donghyuck snickers while he helps pack a couple of Jeno’s new clothes into Jeno’s suitcase.

“He even did that in front of King and Queen, what a brave soul,” Renjun adds as he scrolls types into something on his laptop, probabaly making sure Jeno is already checked-in on his flight. “Ah, my Jaemin is the best!” Renjun claims.

Jeno almost throws his left Balenciaga speed trainer shoe at his friend, “Your Jaemin?” Jeno gets really offended, “Jaemin is not yours! What are you talking about?” He says as he tightens his hold into his shoe. Renjun only laughs at him evilly.

“Well, he’s not yours either, hyung,” Jisung explains while he shrugs as he throws in an unfolded shirt into Jeno’s suitcase.

“Yes,” Jeno continues and tries to explain, “he’s not mine _yet_ but he said he loves me with all his heart. That’s already pretty close, you know,” he tells them but he also voices this out for his sanity too. Of course, Jaemin confessing and returning his love means Jaemin will be his when the right time comes, right? That’s included in Jaemin’s promises too. It’s enough assurance, right?

“All done,” Donghyuck announces, and the sound of the zipper put to an end can be heard.

“Aren’t you really using your private jet?” Renjun inquires, “I’m about to check-in your flight now.”

Jeno nods because he doesn’t need their private jet anymore.

“I still can’t believe you’re leaving all of us here!” Donghyuck chimes in. Jeno can’t believe it too but he’s really doing it.

“Flight checked-in, you’re officially going to Canada in 5 hours,” Renjun smirks as he closes his laptop. “You’re all good to go, Prince Jeno. Or should we address you officially now as Jeno Lee?”

There’s a fond smile visible in Jisung’s face, Jeno is sure Renjun is suppressing the tears that are about to fall, and Jeno may have seen Donghyuck quickly wiped a few strained tears.

“It’s not like I’m not coming back, you idiots!” Jeno tells them, “I’ll be back before you know it. And by that time, I’m bringing Jaemin home too.”

It has been three months since Jaemin left the palace. Three months since Jeno confessed his feelings in front of a crowd filled with prominent people around the world. Three months since a substantial change happened in the royal family and its Jeno’s own doing. The wedding with another royal family was put to an end, the Prince pleading for a commoner’s hand in marriage, and of course, the commoner who made history by rejecting the prince’s proposal not only once, but twice – all in the same night.

Jeno remembers all the words Jaemin has said to him, from the sweetest lines of _I am in love with you too, my prince. I love you with all my heart too. _Up to the confusing, _but I can’t accept your proposal right now, Prince Jeno. _

Everyone at the party could be heard gasping, clearly taken aback. How can a commoner refuse a genuine request of the prince? Jeno drowned in disbelief too, confusion followed right after. Why did Jaemin reject him again, only in a span of minutes too?

Before Jeno can be able to protest and demand a lengthy explanation, one of the palace guards has opened the door and Jaemin reached out to Jeno’s hand and pulled him out of the grand hall. There were a lot of ideas jumbled into Jeno’s head as they walked further and further away from the hall, until they reached the flower garden.

“Jaemin, you said you love me but why did you reject my proposal?” Jeno demanded an answer because everything was baffling.

“Because we’re too young, Prince Jeno,” Jaemin replied, “and marriage isn’t the solution to this. You haven’t even asked me to be your boyfriend yet, you were already asking for my hand in marriage?”

It was a silly exchange but Jeno remembered every bit of it. How Jaemin explained his seriousness about attending the program in Canada, how he would want to study and excel on his craft, how he would still leave Jeno and get on that flight to Canada because he needed to. And how Jaemin assured him that his heart will always be with Jeno too.

And true to Jaemin’s words, he left Jeno but with a promise of coming back to him and if Jeno would still want to ask him the question when that time comes, Jaemin guaranteed him that he would not reject him again.

Jeno may have drowned himself in misery because the moment Jaemin left, he missed him immediately but somehow, the sorrow he felt wasn’t as wretched. Maybe because he was holding onto Jaemin’s promise of a beautiful future.

But you see, Jeno made his own choice too. His preference of wanting to be at Jaemin’s side all the time, the option of being close to Jaemin, he wants it all but of course, it came with a price.

Leaving the palace will mean Jeno is abandoning his duties as the prince of their kingdom. He’s the only heir to the throne and him nearing the age of taking over his father’s duties mark a crucial time. But Jeno also desires to follow what his heart truly desires.

_You can go. _His father told him, _I can be a King for a little longer. Don’t worry about anything else, your happiness is our priority too. _

Jeno could not ask for better parents. And ever since he got the blessing, he already started planning on what action to do next.

For the next couple of months, or maybe years, Jeno is stripped off of his Prince status and will live normally as Jeno Lee. But it doesn’t concern him because this is his choice, this is what he wants. He doesn’t need any title. He doesn’t care if it’ll be a great deal of adjustment but what he knows is that, he’ll be able to do it.

He can do it because Jaemin will be by his side to conquer whatever problems he may face.

Where Jaemin is, Jeno will follow. It’s about time that he attends to what Jaemin wants, to serve him like how Jaemin has been with Jeno the past few years.

From today and for the rest of Jeno’s days, he’ll treat Jaemin like a prince because it’s what Jaemin deserves.

Because Jeno knows that Jaemin has always been the best thing that has ever happened to him. And he wants to spend his whole lifetime with him.

**Author's Note:**

> At one point into writing this, honestly, I am not sure where it headed so it took me time to finish this but I hope you like reading this! I was so happy when I finally finished writing this and posted it without asking my friend to beta it for me so I'm sorry again for all the grammatical mistakes. :< 
> 
> You can talk to me on either of these two!  
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/NoMinAngst)
> 
> [CC](https://curiouscat.me/dearRenMin)
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!


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